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Power
and Control Wheel
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Type of Abuse |
Description |
| USING ISOLATION |
One of the most effective
ways to begin to overpower another person is to keep them from having
contact with others. Batterers may attempt to keep their partners from
having meaningful contact with people who can support and give them a
reality check about the abuse. Batterers may control what they do, who
they see, where they go, and with whom they spend time. Cutting them off
from a community, ideas, and resources allows the abuser to define their
world, interpret information, and force acceptance of the closed system
that the abuser has created. The batterer may restrict their access to
education and jobs (trashing their schoolbooks, harassing them at work so
they get fired), or may stick so close to them that they have no
independent life. By doing this, the batterer takes on a more important,
powerful position in their partner's life. For women/men with
disabilities, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender persons, older
women/men, or others marginalized by mainstream society, isolation takes
on increased potency. |
|
MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING |
These tactics enforce the
idea already prevalent in society that whatever harm comes to a person is
their own fault. Batterers blame their partners for events leading up to
physical violence, minimize the extent of the damage, or deny that it
occurred. Society reinforces these messages with stereotypes of "uppity
women," "nags," and "sluts"--women who "asked for it" or deserve the abuse
to keep them in line. This makes it even more difficult for a woman to
seek help or expect to be believed. Expectations that women be nurturing
and passive tells her it is her responsibility to take care of her partner
and the relationship, and to "put up and shut up" when her own needs
aren't met. Men who are abused are also constricted by societal
stereotypes, by not fitted the “tough man” image. They are seen as
inferior and therefore do not seek services to help them deal with their
abuse.
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USING CHILDREN |
For many women/men, our
children are our hearts. Our children and our ability to mother/father
them are basic to what we believe is important in the world. Using
children is another way to instill feelings of guilt and incompetence in a
parent. Batterers use children to punish or frighten their partners, by
forcing children into dangerous acts, using them as pawns, turning them
against their abused parent, threatening to take the children, not
following visitation agreements. If the abused parent leaves the
relationship, batterers may fight for custody when they have never been a
primary caretaker. Children are at greater risk of being sexually abused
in a home where one parent is being assault because they may be in that
parents arms when they are attacked, or they are hurt when trying to
protect them. Mothers are systematically denied custody of their children
by the courts, even when the father is a batterer or has molested them,
thereby increasing a woman's fear that she has no recourse to help them. |
|
USING MALE PRIVILEGE |
Men are traditionally seen
as "king of the castle" in our culture. Batterers in heterosexual
relationships use this privilege to make decisions in the family without
concern for the feelings or thoughts of other members. He rules over his
partner or the family with authority that may not be questioned. Family
members begin to believe in the position of dominance and take on
second-class, or subservient roles. |
|
USING ECONOMIC ABUSE |
In our culture, we need
money to survive. A batterer often controls the money in the family and
will keep his or her partner from having any that they may be able to use
for themselves. The abuser does not allow them to make decisions about how
it will be spent and limits their access to funds. Even if they is the
wage earner, they are forced to account for every penny earned and spent.
If they leave and there are children the batterer may refuse to pay child
support. |
|
USING COERCION AND THREATS |
Threats are used to control
by creating intense fear that can paralyze our ability to act, or keep us
constantly "looking over our shoulder" to protect our lives or well being.
Some common threats are suicide, threats to kill her/him or the children,
threats to damage property or kidnap the children if they try to leave. A
battered woman/man may be coerced into committing crimes or acts that
contradict their personal values. They may be forced to bounce checks,
commit welfare fraud, or sell drugs, or may be used in prostitution, or
made to do degrading or dangerous acts for fear of greater harm. |
|
USING INTIMIDATION |
An abuser displays the power
to carry out threats by committing terrifying acts--pets are killed,
friends and family harassed and injured, fires set, suicides and homicides
carried out. Using intimidating gestures and behaviors, a batterer evokes
the power that has been established through previous acts of violence.
Intimidation, periodically reinforced with an assault, makes violence a
daily part of the abused persons reality and, therefore, makes them easier
to control. |
|
USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE |
This provides the foundation
for the use of all other behaviors against a battered woman/men, and is
the most common form of control. It includes acts intending to humiliate
her/him, name-calling and insults to their intelligences and abilities.
Once a woman/man is isolated from other people, they is more susceptible
to put-downs, criticism and general negative messages about who they are
and what they do. Emotional abuse cripples their ability to maintain a
positive image, and leaves them feeling they are as worthless as the
batterer says they are. |
ACCESS
Crisis Line:1-800-203-3488
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